Introducing the Garrison 3-in-1 Portable Air Conditioning Unit, complete with 9000 BTUs.
It’s summer. It’s hot. No wait, scratch that. It’s very hot. If you are experiencing conditions like most, you’re experiencing the type of apartment heat that only a top floor unit with windows instead of walls and an evil smoking neighbor that may have found the secret to actually blowing air upward and sideways, feels like. Of course, with 3,792 smoking attempts per day, who wouldn’t have mastered the angular stench blow?
So what other option do you have than to go out immediately and get the first portable air conditioning unit you can find. It’s literally the only option you have since most fans just blow. That’s what I did. I was tired of walking around naked with a wet towel wrapped around my head.
So I went to Canadian Tire. I dropped $400 on some sweet sweet coolness to beat the heat.
One More Gadget wanted to share some information to the masses but our anonymous review was rejected from the Canadian Tire website for being too cold-hearted, so here it is, for your viewing pleasure: Brace yourself, it’s long winded and full of hot air.
Let me start off by saying this air conditioner hasn’t just made me hate this one, it has made me hate all portable air conditioners on the face of the planet. If the horrible box design, created without handles and the ability to completely dismantle upon contact was any indication of what you are in store for, enjoy.
Whatever genius came up with the idea to call this 65 pound beast ‘portable’ is probably the same a-hole that crammed that extra seat next to the toilets on airplanes. This thing is so big it should really be found in the furniture section between the wardrobes and those freakishly huge bed frames that no one ever buys except maybe that lady from bed knobs and broomsticks.
I personally would love to resell fridges with huge wheels on the bottom and tell suckers with warm food that it will not only cool their food, it’s also portable.
Anyway. These portability devices, aka wheels, left grease marks all over my carpet. Just thought I’d mention that.
And when I plugged in this machine I almost had a heart attack. It actually sounds like a lawn mower (more like a dryer, but on tumble dry no less). I researched and found (Canadian Tire) claiming this device was a soft 54db. Let’s compare this to 50db which is a quiet suburb, or 60db which is background music, or a ‘good’ air conditioning unit heard at 100ft. Sounds good right? Well no my friends, this “54db” is actually 68 decibels!
To put that in perspective the average level for your household vacuum cleaner is 70 db.
But forget about finding that on the Garrison website. That website doesn’t exist. In fact, actual evidence that Garrison is even a company at all is completely in question. There is a toll free number, but who’d want to call that? If the manual, riddled with Chinglish and nonsensical diagrams, is any indication of what you’d be dealing with you are better off returning it to the store. Unless of course you bought it at CT, which has a no return policy on all portable AC’s. Ouch.
So really, what makes this and all portable air conditioners so bad in our humble opinion?
The ‘portability’? The price? The no-return policies? The lack of actual brand names and reputations? The noise levels? How about the drain spout that’s usually too low to actually drain into anything without having to lift the machine and destroy your back injuring your sciatic nerve landing you in hospital for 2 months? How about that lanky hot vent hose that has to be stuck out your window causing you to still have your window open and deal with Mr. Angular Stench Blow?
Well it’s all of that. Portable AC’s are the worst.
But, if you are desperate, and in this situation, you have no other alternatives really, or do you?
Nope.
Buy the best fans online right here.
I wish I had bought a different air conditioner. from the start. It is loud, heavy and removing the water is a pain and it leaks. I sliced my finger trying to open it to be able to clean it as it started to smell musty. I ended up cracking the plastic and the place where the remote stays, broke off its plastic hinges. After all that, I did not succeed to open the unit. So if I get a mold disease it is because of Garrison portable air conditioner.
Lena oh no! I was hoping this review would prevent people from making the same mistake. Dang!
You totally reminded me! I forgot to mention in the review that I ALSO SLICED my finger trying to open the stupid thing too.
I have since then purchased a Danby AC and it’s portable and actually quite wonderful, still loud though, but it does the job.
I want to clean the filters but there is no way to remove them from the machine. Does anyone know how to do this?
I agree the drain spout that’s too low to actually drain into anything without having to lift the AC, I have mine up on a table, I wish It could drain out the window but that vent hose is to big/long, I’ve had it across my living room so I could have the AC closer to my bedroom and my living room got crazy hot, I recommend keeping the hose as short as possible cause when stretched out it will heat up your place fast. Other then the AC being heavy,big,loud,part heater, a hassle having to empty the water every 3/4-if I set the AC at 86 the it takes maybe 7hrs to fill. OVERALL it’s a pain in the ass!! But does the job if your in the same room and it’s pointing in your direction. Score -2/10
The filters pull out from the side really easy to clean
The unit is a horrible design, once it gets going it’s not able to absorb heat anymore because it surrounds its self with cooler air.
It actually pushes warmer back.
However I found if you place a fan in another room or opposite end of the living room from this AC you get can the warmer air to circulate so the unit can absorb it .
I’ve had this model for approx 15 years I have it mounted on a chair, yes I admit the drain is in a bad position but have never had to drain it in all those years, I’ve had it vented with a homemade adaptor in the sash window for 14 of those years, and removed it during the winter months, this year I placed it in a different position and again vented it out of an unused outer door, at this moment the temperature is 30 C the unit is at 61C and its doing its job, the inside temp is 28C, it is running very quiet just a whispering noise,
These units are meant to be run with the vent hose outside the building not left inside the room, even the hose inside my house gets hot so the unit has to be as close to the outlet as possible to eliminate the heat, it’s no good having the unit in the middle of the room and the length of the hose running into the house, that’s downright silly,
Edmund, Alberta Canada
Thank you for the excellent review of the Garrison 3-in-1! Your insights into its efficiency and features make it sound like an exceptional choice for staying cool. I really appreciate the detailed perspective!
Whole-house fans are a fantastic way to improve airflow and cut down on energy costs, especially in warmer climates. By properly installing one in a central location, like a hallway, and using exhaust vents, you can bring in fresh air and keep your home cool naturally. Thanks for the helpful insights, Mike, Leslie, and Tom!